A lot of times people tell me Im intense. Ive come to realize not everyone is using the word in the same manner. For some its negative, some positive, others its admiration, and worse some use it to put me into some sort of classification. Simply put Im judged by my intensity. Some people say my intensity comes from the fact Im from the right coast and a Boston native, while others just think Im a fast talking-asshole or so I was told once. This person quickly indicated that it wasnt true but those people just dont know me or understand the real me.
Am I intense, YES! Is it because Im from Basten as I say it or because I talk fast and cant stay on one subject? No, I dont have ADD and think doctors made it up. Is it because Ive hiked the Appalachian Trail, Long Trail, Pacific Crest Trail, done solo 24 hour & 100 mile mountain bike races and biked the west coast as a warm up to the PCT? Honestly, I dont know.
Its all of these things in a manner of speaking. Im intense because that is who I am. Accept it or dont, I dont care either way. I personal dont think the things I do make me intense but others do. I HATE this. Just because I choose to hike 2655 miles in 125 days doesnt mean Im more intense than you. The average person looks at me and thinks I could never do that, while I look at tri-athletes and think the same thing. The bottom line is its all relative. Dont compare yourself to me, when you stop doing so youll see Im just another guy. If you compare the speed of my talking to the Micro Machine guy then I’m slow but compare to the average Joe, I’m fast. If you really know me, you know Im just a guy who dreams big, craves adventure, and is always testing his physical and mental limits in what he does.
During my first 100 mountain bike race I was brought to a state of physical and mental decay where I couldnt control my emotions. I wanted to cry but didnt know why. I was so far gone I lost control. I cant say Ive ever been there before or since. To know I can push myself that hard makes me feel alive. It also makes me question my limits both physical and mental.
Me when I lost control of my emotions at the CCP
The only limitations one should have are ones they place on themselves. Even then you should push them. Unfortunately society and those around us sometimes create limitations and we hold ourselves to those.
I hold myself to higher standards than others hold me to. Im not okay with doing things half ass. I dont hold others to these physical or moral standards but I do expect a lot from others in the way of being respectful and treating me as I do them. Unfortunately not many do. Im not saying I think Im better than everyone else, its quite the opposite. Im my own worst critic.
I embrace me intensity most of the time but lucky for all of you I curb most of it which goes against my belief of being oneself. Ive learned who can handle it and they feel its full weight, while other times I unleash it on my adventures. Find your intensity, push your limits and get out there!
———-
Scatman
Get out there!
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I do think you talk fast, I do not think you’re any sort of arsehole. I am impressed by your physical feats, I don’t think it has anything to do with which side of the continental divide you were born on.